I was ringtone shopping today, and yes, ringtone shopping for Joseph too. I came across a ringtone called “Miss Independent" by Ne-Yo. It occurred to me that that is what I want my boyfriend to pick out for my ringtone. The song basically says that she is independent, and that is why he loves her. He wants her to spend time with him, not because she has to, but because she wants to. When I find a guy that thinks about me like that, then we’ll be on the equal playing field that I will never find with a lot of guys. If they expect to do for me all the time just because I am blind, or even just because I’m a girl, that will never work for me. All guys want to take care of girls to an extent. And I do like to be taken care of. I’m the kind of girl that can go all day in 3 inch heels, drink Starbucks with one hand while applying make up with the other while making it between classes in record time. But, I like having someone at the end of the day that likes me with or without the constant upkeep and so called “look at me” accomplishments and is just fine hanging out in the evenings in a t-shirt. Not all the time, but just an occasional evening in is nice. I am not “super blind” 100% of the time. Super blind basically means having above average accomplishments in the non-disabled world, and making it look like a disability doesn’t impact me in the slightest way. Basically, I have overcome, listen to me roar. I’ve found that some guys are attracted to that, but it doesn’t go any further than my ability to apply perfect make-up or maintain a 4.0.
At least I know what I want, but I think in some ways it limits me too. However, if anything, I’ve become more open to life lately rather than closed off to it. I’m like Benjamin Button, kind of living things in reverse. I was such an uptight 40 year old woman from childhood on. At 21, I’m finally feeling like a teenager a bit more; open to new things and actual weekends out.
- Current Location:my room
- Current Mood: okay
- Current Music:"Miss Independent" Ne-Yo